JoeBusiness ::: ‘For Some Reason Men Are Upset’

Helen Flanagan FHM

Sorry, no JoeBusiness last week as I was working in Switzerland, scoffing chocolate, buying clocks and trying to remain as neutral as possible. This week however, I was lucky enough to cover the FHM 100 Sexiest Women in the World Party, where I was set the challenge of asking all the beautiful attendees on a date and seeing how many said ‘Yes’… I know, shit job right? The result was actually overwhelmingly favourable (I assume the boozer round the corner must’ve been plying the famous babes with liquor beforehand) and you can see a little highlights package here.

What struck me however, was the level of debate that ensued upon the list becoming coming public knowledge, especially directed towards I’m a Celebrity star Helen Flanagan. The former Corrie actress placed third in the list, behind Rihanna and Mila Kunis, who came second and first respectively, making her the highest place Brit. I asked Helen what it was like to receive such an honour and we had a typically confusing interview but what’s more interesting is the fact that a lot of people took such umbrage at the results. As telly host and newly-minted head of the Irish Mafia Laura Whitmore pointed out, ‘It’s a bit of fun and I can tell the grandkids when I’m old and wrinkly, “Granny one day, someone thought was sexy”.’… They certainly did Laura… Anyway, as always with these things, Twitter was the best parade ground of overreaction and hyperbole and here are some choice quotes summing up reaction to the List:

@TonyDortie humorously quipped: ‘Helen Flanagan came first in the FHM 100 sexiest women in the world list….I’m guessing FHM is now printed in #Braille.’ LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL … Tony you jester.

While the charming @muller7uk understatedly wrote: ‘You could read into the #fhm100sexiest list, but seeing as the ugly idiot trollop Helen Flanagan is probably on there, renders it pointless.’ Clearly an Eastenders fan.

The brilliantly named @sausagemonkey64 declared: ‘The FHM 100 sexiest list is proper mental!!! Cher Lloyd’s in it!!! So’s Linda Barker!!!!’ Linda Barker was among a number of ‘surprise’ entries, another was BBC News Presenter Susanna Reid, who’s brightened up many a dreary morning as I shovel down muesli. Sadly TV’s ultimate Cougar, Julia Bradbury, missed out. Prompting the following Tweet from me after several used tissues and a bottle of gin: ‘No @JuliaBradbury in Sexy List! I kill you FHM you pig bummers!’ … Not really but it would’ve fitted in with the general content and artistic flair of most comments.

I’m just not sure why people care so much. If you disagree, just think that in your brain and carrying on eating your Pot Noodle. It’s not like that list is the limit of women in the world and if the lady you particularly admire isn’t on there, you’ll never be able to see an image of her again. I don’t think this kind of survey is just titillation for men, we think about naked women all on our own so actual sexy girls in skimpy dresses is a bit of down time for us, and it’s not a comment on anyone’s work or talent so directly attacking people and their places in a list of ‘sexiness’ is to attack the way they look which is just plain mean. Do you really reckon that by defending Michelle Keegan’s honour she’s going to ditch a confused and gormless Mark Wright and be waiting in your bedroom when you get home from work with nought but a skimpy negligée, an industrial-sized vat of lube and a kebab and cheesy chips for after? Exactly, so don’t worry about it mate and just do what I do and think about sexy ladies in your head, it’s fun.

First published on IAmMusic.TV, 5th May 2013

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